What I Noticed In & About India

Relax, I haven’t been kidnapped. Just, you know, procrastinating on this super overdue post on the long gone India trip (it’s a miracle I can still remember this much!).

The parents and I took off from Singapore on the morning of 16th March. My eight day trip was filled with a lot of sightseeing, a fair amount of shopping, and a lot of treasured moments. Oh, and food. Of course there was good food.

Eight nights in India. Eight wonderful, yet exhausting nights.

Keeping all the typical tourist-y things aside, while travelling along the Delhi – Vrindavan – Agra – Ajmer – Jaipur – Delhi route, I had the honour of experiencing several “it happens only in India” moments, plus other things that I noticed about life and human nature in general too. Here are a few of the observations I made during my time in India.

Crossing lines, crossing borders

Something I wrote on the first day, upon arrival at the New Delhi Airport.

If there’s one thing I learnt in my trips across the world, what more by living in different countries; it’s that each place has different levels of “how much do I need to keep my guard up”. You could be a bunch of civilized human beings boarding a plane from Singapore, and just as the plane touches down and traffics into a city in, case in point, India, your guard just goes up. My mum made a pretty interesting observation. “People from India are so bold,” she said. To which I responded that they had to be, look at their dog eat dog lives, forever required to guard their position in life in such a competitive, and let’s not forget, corrupted country.

We exited the plane to see the same bunch of people who were sleeping peacefully on the flight turn into a very rough, rushy, aggressive and competitive bunch. I couldn’t help but smile. A few seconds after delighting in this well made observation, though, I had no choice but to become one of them.

Survival issues.

(Insert number here) shades of people

You truly meet all sorts of people on your travels. The nice, the not so nice, children, young people, old people, and why stop at people? Of course there are the cows, crows, camels, monkeys, elephants (which I refused to sit on – talk about animal torture!) and I even had the honour of having a rat run pass me!

I breathed the same air they did (let’s keep the thoughts on how India smells like aside here, people), I walked along the same paths they did and, oh boy, did I try communicating in the same language they did. I remember trying to explain something in Hindi to our extremely reliable driver, Parveenji – who was with us throughout the trip, and after attempting a few lines in Hindi, I apologised for my horrendous language capabilities. He giggled and said, “actually your Hindi is better than (insert name of an Indian politician whose Hindi isn’t so proper here)”. Yay, compliments!

Which brings me to the conversations. We had so much to talk about, although I spent most of the trip listening to my dad speak about Indian politics. And while there are those who will never fail to be patriotic, there are those who have no love for their country. And why should they? They probably have seen enough hardship, were probably not given support or help from the people who are supposedly out there to help you, etc, etc.

What I found hypocritical about India is that, there are many sides to each story. And more often than not, you will never be able to seek out the truth. The communities in India tend to have a “think-alike” mindset and it’s extremely hard to break it, especially if you have no clue who the leader(s) of the pack is. And everyone is somehow or the other trying to cover up a truth, no matter how small. It’s ironic, considering that Gandhi worked so hard to promote Satyagraha. But I’m generalising, of course.

Appreciate me not

After having seen so many sights, witnessed so many beautiful monuments, I was somehow left India with a scar in my heart. I was upset. Upset at how locals didn’t know how to appreciate the beauty of their country. It’s sad to see India disappear under a huge pile of garbage like that. One of the highlights of my trip was going to Ajmer – where my dad was raised. I will never forget how my father was genuinely disappointed at how the city he spent his childhood days in turned out. How the people had no respect for property and well, for other people. It was heartbreaking to see him like that and mum and I had to keep reminding him that many years had passed since he last visited Ajmer and cities do change.

You would’ve thought visiting the other tourist destinations in India would make me feel good. I mean, I’ve always wanted to visit these places and I finally have. Especially the Taj Majal. But no, I wasn’t as ecstatic. In fact, after seeing all the vandalism, the scratches, the snatches and all, I couldn’t help but wonder what our ancestors would feel if they saw the conditions their beautiful landmarks are in now. But, oh well, I was glad I got to visit these places – at least I have a story to tell my grandkids! And it’s good to know that a lot of restoration works are being done at a lot of the landmarks I visited, too.

There are people who make it a point to try and change this mindset, but many of these voices get lost in transition. Voices of superheroes, political powers, helpful citizens get drowned amongst the noise pollution in the country. Voice out and your opinions might get stamped on by people with power. By people in general. One voice isn’t loud enough to be heard in a country with a billion people.

India has come very far; it’s a beautiful country and I’m proud that my roots are attached to a country like this. But it’s going to take a long time for one-way mindsets to evolve.

Alvida (Goodbye)

At the end of the day, I found that I left India with the smile on my face, I was happy because I finally got a taste of how India is actually like. Albeit disappointed by a few things here there, I was still skipping about (literally, sometimes).

I also have police inspector/security guards I met at the Delhi Airport at 7am before my departure back to Singapore to thank for cheering me up before my departure. Corrupted or not, boy were they funny!

Thank you, India. You have opened my eyes and made me grateful for what I have.

The Power Of Someone Else’s Words

Words have the power of making my heart well up with tears. Yes, I said my heart. Not my eyes. I know that sounds rather medically unsafe, but it’s the truth.

Words have an erratic power of moving me in ways that would make even Gregory House do a double take.

And I love House so much I would never question his intelligence otherwise.

(I also know he’s a fictional character, relax.)

Recently, I was looking for inspiration to write a sales letter as requested by client. Sure, it’s no biggy to many. Just a short introduction letter that I could’ve cut and pasted off a “template sales letter” from Google if I wanted to play cheat (and I was tempted to). Naturally though, I didn’t. I genuinely wanted her new line of product to break into the market with a bang.

Thing is, I never saw the product. I never felt it. She described it to me and even sent me a picture. Here’s the problem of being a freelance writer who has to “rush out” work for people who are looking for a fast-paced journey to success – you don’t always get a feel of what you’re writing about.

So in order to fill up the gap, I turned to Google.

I then came across a link – “100 Greatest Sales Letters“. Download the PDF now, it screamed.

Weak moment; I obliged.

The first sales letter I read was a classic. “The letter that built Newsweek”, it read. I read the letter and my heart actually skipped a beat towards the end. It was composed oh so beautifully. And this, mind you, is a sales letter – one that we tend to not even give a second look, because it’s SALES, because we’re too busy to entertain things like this.

And then it hit me that Newsweek had ceased print publications.

Cue: tear.

The letter boggled my mind. It wasn’t a jargon-filled yawn-worthy essay. It was an honest appeal to a reader to just, simply, give the magazine a TRY.

I started thinking about it all. I had flashbacks of all the newsletters and magazines I worked with (and quit). I thought about all the blog posts and articles I wrote and published. I thought about all the corporate letters and plans I typed up for a quick buck.

And yet, nothing, nothing at all could’ve compared to the brilliance of this two page letter.

Am I really that good of a writer, I thought again (for the umpteenth time)? Could my words really tug on strings of someone’s heart? I don’t know. But what I do know, and I know now is how much believe, faith and confidence whoever it was wrote the letter had to have (the letter was signed off by a “S. Arthur Dembner”). And I know that’s exactly what I lack.

I lack the confidence in believing that my words are powerful. I lack the faith that my words can take me, and maybe if not me, then someone else, far. I should believe that my words can possibly make a difference in someone’s life, if not now, then someday.

And until then, I will persevere. I will STOP telling myself that I’m not good enough for this because maybe I wasn’t born with a golden pen in my hand but neither was I born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I have to fight through this. I have to win.

I will find my muse. I will find my voice. And even if I will never have an elevator’s pitch ready to blabber out to someone because I never find my niche, I know that I will be proud of myself the next time I tell someone, “I’m a writer”.

The journey started a long time ago. It can only get better now.

Image Source: Backstage Bridal Pro Blog

P.S. I know I’m supposed to update on my India trip. I got distracted – for the better, this time. The trip update is in the works!

Finding My Voice In My Words

I want to be a writer who is able to write about anything under the sun.

No, really.

But I know I can’t. Maybe not yet, maybe not ever. I mean, I barely have the confidence to write up blog posts without having a mental block halfway, or even to carry out a casual conversation with an intellectual person without zoning out from his/her excessive use of jargons.

(Read: An Open Letter To Digital Grammar Nazis)

Because at the end of the day, I’m just one of those writers who just likes to ship out the feelings in her heart into her brain cells (for organisation purposes) and then spill them out onto paper. Okay, not paper, the computer. And if I don’t know what I’m talking about then I will curl up into a fetal position or withdraw into a corner (in most cases, not literally).

I’ve read 101 articles that tell you how to find your voice, your niche. I’ve even contemplated just writing and not thinking too much about it in previous posts, but I feel like I’m still not satisfied. A writer friend of mine, someone I look up to, told me to just keep the sentences simple and to just try things out from there. It sure as hell sounds easy, but … something’s missing.

I see myself as a blogger, yet I don’t seem to journal enough of my own life into this wordpress site of mine. It’s like bits of pieces that I want to share and then whatever other thoughts and circumambulate (ooo, big word that I’m not sure fits) in my head just gets thrown out into the cloud, far away from my reach (this makes me sad).

I think I can motivate people with my writing, but so far, I haven’t even been to able to gain enough confidence to motivate myself. So, yeah, nevermind.

I feel like I’m good at organising things so I try to write business plans, proposals and letters for the corporate types. Great that I make a little cash out of this, but it’s really just to make money and nothing else.

I want to write a book. A book about my life, a book about things I’ve learned. A book like one of those books that I’ve read and loved. And yet my attention span is so short that it’s hard for me to even read someone’s lengthy blog post without going “nevermind, skip” nowadays.

Talk about lacking focus.

In all honesty, if my brain could spill out the thoughts it has into paper automatically, I would have so much to share with everyone. Maybe I have a fear of something, which is why my thoughts never make it to this site. Maybe I’m afraid I think up very controversial stuff and I don’t want any additional drama in my life. But then, why bother writing, right?

I’m sorry if this post seems a little all over the place. I guess I’m trying to find my voice by writing out my thoughts and putting them all into one outlet so I can focus. In the mean time, I’ll continue getting my learn/read/write on.

Oh, would you look at that.

Mission accomplished.

Next post: India trip details!

Drop Me A Note, Just Say Hi.

An old friend, an inspiration of sort, sent out an email today just to say that he was thinking about “you”. I opened it up, only to see the link to his latest blog post and a kind greeting.

Now, see, many critics would cry out foul. They would say things like, ahh.. he’s just doing a selfless plug, marketing himself, his blog and his non-profit organisation. Besides, they would say, you’re just an email address on his mailing list.

But that’s where my thoughts differ.

For one, I know this guy personally. I respect him for what he has done, and all that he is still doing for humanity. I also know that although I am, after all, just one of the email addresses on his mailing list, I’m sure at the back of his mind, he still remembers who I am.

And I’m a writer. Why would I have a problem reading someone else’s blog? That too, an inspirational one!

It felt good. It felt really heart-warming to receive a random note from someone who I don’t even speak to on a regular basis anymore – actually, wait I don’t even remember the last time we met. It was just a note to say hi. How hard could that have been for him to do?

It is very hard for others and, admittedly, for me, too. I don’t do it that often. I notice that besides updating my blog and my social media profiles, I rarely communicate with my friends and family members. A few people have asked me why I do this; why am I so oblivious to social interaction?

I don’t have an answer to that question. Lately, I’ve been feeling very “Buddha”, where I just want more alone time to find myself, to reflect inward and change my outlook in life. I feel like there has been too much negativity in and around me and this is a very bad distraction to finding inner peace (Kung Fu Panda moment, right there). So I decided to stay away everyone from my life – I know, it’s drastic, but you know, better safe than sorry, just in case somebody “isn’t in the mood”.

The truth is, I constantly wonder why I have to explain my lack of giving people attention or wanting attention. I mean, I still want attention, no doubt, but it’s more like, an acknowledgement that I exist instead of an exaggerated glorification of something small that I do. I wonder why people just can’t see me for who I am and then go “yeah, she’s just a loner, that doesn’t mean we should ignore her”. Because I don’t want you to ignore me, I just don’t have a very good “follow-up” system, me being an introvert an which is why I’d make a horrible, horrible salesperson.

So drop me a note, say hi. Tell me what’s going on in your life and maybe, just maybe we can help each other lighten some load off our shoulders.

I’ll be waiting.

March Love, Proofreading & Travel

It’s March already!?

It truly feels like forever since I last updated the blog. As usual, I’ve had no muse since the last post, and it didn’t help that I kept falling sick. I’m currently on the road to recovery from my cold.

But March, my favourite month, is here! Just a few days to go before I pass the quarter century mark.

The last few weeks were interesting. I cut my hair really short (I apparently look a lot like my mother now, haha) and I got the chance to proofread a local novelist’s book – and I learnt really interesting tricks from doing that.

Initially, it didn’t hit me that I had to check for POVs until I got the book from the author along with a POV guideline. The novel he wrote has all the POVs you can possibly think of and it got a little tricky towards the middle of the book. Okay, fine, not tricky, I got lost. I had to keep checking the document and reminding myself who is supposed to speak in first-person, who in second-person, and … you get it.

There were a few other things that I noticed, like how it’s a total different ball game to edit 100+ pages at one go, with only 48 hours in hand. I managed, somehow, and the author commended me for the corrections I spotted and the best part of all – I get paid – not much, but enough to give me the confidence to continue editing people’s work.

And to start writing my own book.

Yes, my loves, it has begun. I have a working title in mind. The first paragraph is out. I somehow know the flow it’s going to take. It will be semi-autobiographical, too. I just need to put more effort into actually continuing the story! I’ve got the right motivation to do it, with support from friends and even someone telling me that they dreamt I wrote a successful book (imagine that!). Time to focus.

And blog more.

However, with that said, March is going to be a month of very little updates, or possibly none, on the blog. I’ll be out of town from the 16th to 24th on a long overdue trip to India with the parents.

Taj Mahal, here I come.

Here’s wishing all of you a blessed March!

The Liebster Award

Crazy busy. I’ve been unwell (still am, actually), I still have a pile of work to get to and I’ve been seeing so many Daily Prompts that are so tempting to try out.

One at a time, Manisha.

For now, thank you, Rachel from misswho.me for awarding this blog with the Liebster Award.

Here are the rules:

Post eleven facts about yourself

Answer the questions posed by your nominator

Pass the award on to eleven new recipients

Pose eleven new questions to your bloggers

Post a copy of the badge on your blog (type “Liebster Award” into Google images; you’ll find plenty to choose from). Notify nominees and include links to the originating blog, as well as the new recipients.

—

Eleven facts about me:

1. I want to start painting. I’ve always sucked at art, but I think I should try again.
2. I love watching song/dance sequences. Whether it be Bollywood or English musicals. It doesn’t fit with my image – and that’s why you don’t judge a book by its cover!
3. With that said, one of the few TV shows I watch diligently is Glee.
4. I cannot take the sound of metals clinging. It irritates my teeth.
5. I love desserts. I’m a fat kid at heart.
6. Pillows hate me. Or my head. It always slides down to the bed and I wake up everyday with a bad neck.
7. I used to write a lot of poetry. It was called “keystyling” in hip-hop.
8. I recorded myself rapping on a cassette once. My mum heard it and said I sounded different. Different is good!
9. I got beaten up by a girl in Secondary 1. She’s now my best friend!
10. I find God cute.
11. One of my dreams is to teach people stuff.

Q&A:

1. Favourite guilty pleasure?
Chocolate. I’ve realised that I’m actually allergic to chocolate; every time I have it, I sneeze. But, who cares, right?

2. Explain your blog title.
My name.

3. You’re on the TV show Misfits, and have been granted/cursed with a superpower that reflects your personality (for example, an irritable person may have Hulk-like rage attacks when provoked). What is your superpower and why?
I’ve never watched Misfits, but I’d like to be a lie detector that goes around finding the truth. Fun.

4. What is your favourite line from a book, movie, TV show, play, speech, poem or song?
“I am whatever you say I am; if I wasn’t, then why would you say I am.” – Eminem

5. What are you currently working on?
Besides stuff at the office, I have about 11 articles pending for a newsletter and one business plan. I also have the last lesson of my self defense class this weekend!

6. Most thumbed book in your collection?
Where You’re At by Patrick Neate

7. What are you doing/what did you do this Valentine’s Day? (I’m eating chocolate with “Someone Like You” on repeat.)
I attended a course and then went home and had dinner with my sister.

8. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what music?
No, I can’t seem to concentrate with music on.

9. What are your pet peeves?
This could be another blog post altogether! A few I can remember now include; messy and ignorant people.

10. If you could offer one piece of advice to a beginner in your field, what would that be?
Imagine.

11. What are you most proud of?
Being myself.

My nominees:

1. dfortyex.wordpress.com
3. thefurfiles.com
4. doro1k1z.wordpress.com
5. ttanvi.wordpress.com
6. theveryhungrybookworm.wordpress.com
7. 101books.net
8. nishitak.com
9. gazaliahmad.com

Questions for the nominees:

1. Where was the last place outside of home you visited?
2. Where is your dream travel destination?
3. Title of your favourite book?
4. Favourite character from “The Simpsons”?
5. How many languages do you speak?
6. Phone or e-mail?
7. Long or short hair?
8. Favourite beverage?
9. When did you start blogging?
10. Who is the one person that you always look to for inspiration?
11. If you could only have one flavour of ice-cream to eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Cheers!

Versatile Blogger Award

It’s been a busy week. I’ve been procrastinating on a few things, prioritising my work on whether I have the mood to do things or not – just one of those pre-holiday weeks.

Amongst other things, I got awarded the Versatile Blogger Award by the lovely writer behind Castles in Europe. Thank you so much, my fellow blogger. I am humbled to know that you find my blogging worthy of an award.

Part of the rules as a recipient of this award, I have to post the award on my blog, share seven random things about me, and nominate seven people for the award.

Here it goes:

1. I’ve painted my nails only once in my life. The colour lasted about a few weeks. I’ve gotten a manicure/pedicure after that, but no colours involved.
2. The first bunch of cassettes (yes, I’m from that generation) that I owned belonged to the following bands: Air Supply and Michael Learns to Rock. I do not listen to their music anymore, unless the radio airs them and I find myself singing along to the horror of my loved ones.
3. I once had a job that ended up boring me to death. Well, not death, but I got so bored that I actually started scrubbing the floors in attempt to kill time.
4. I am both good and bad at things that require fine motor skills. Good with tools like screwdrivers and punching paper, but horrible at things like using the binding machine and even tying my own shoe laces. Extreme.
5. My friends mean a lot to me. I still laugh at some of the silly things they have done in the past like throw away the bicycle and run when chased by dogs, or shouting “hitler!” when playing Taboo and the clue question is “you hail a…?”. The correct answer was taxi. Haha!
6. I must sneeze every morning.
7. I have no idea what else to share.

And here are my nominations for the Versatile Blogger Award:

1. Rifat’s Refreshing Reflections
2. Versachi
3. Polysyllabic profundities
4. prisailurophileblog
5. Syahirah Yakob
6. Traci Talks Back
7. Rarasaur

Once again, thank you Alyssa from Castles in Europe for the kind nomination and I hope to continue writing articles that are versatile.

Have a great weekend!